About Therapy With Me
You’ll Talk With Someone Who’s Genuinely Curious About You
Most people who find me have spent a long time being the capable one, and not much time being asked how they’re actually doing.
Therapy with me is warm, direct, and conversational.
I don’t hide behind clinical jargon, and I don’t think therapy should feel scripted or impersonal.
My work is grounded in evidence–based approaches, but I tailor every session to the person in front of me, not to a manual.
I speak plainly, because that’s how the real conversations happen.
And I’m genuinely curious about your story.
Your Symptoms Are Pieces of a Bigger Picture
When you come in with anxiety, or grief, or a relationship that keeps hitting the same wall, that’s rarely the whole story.
It’s the surface of something deeper, an invitation to find out what’s underneath.
So I get curious about the patterns.
Together we notice the themes that keep recurring across your life: at work, at home, in your relationships, and often in experiences that began long before any of this.
My work is psychodynamic, which simply means we look beneath the surface rather than managing whatever shows up on top.
When we understand the pattern, we no longer have to keep repeating it.
You’ll Start Recognizing the Pattern While It’s Happening
Over time, something begins to shift. Instead of simply coping, you understand yourself in a genuinely different way.
The old reactions that used to blindside you become recognizable while they’re happening, and once you can see them, you can choose something else.
Boundaries start to feel more natural too. Not because you’ve memorized a script or forced out a “no,” but because you finally understand why your boundaries became what they are, which makes it easier to build healthier ones without the old guilt.
And slowly, you separate who you actually are from the version of yourself you built to survive.
About Kerstin Flashner, LPCC
Most people call me Kay.
I Didn’t Learn this Work Solely from Textbooks
Like many of the people I work with, I’ve lived through life’s unexpected turns and the challenge of rebuilding when the road ahead looked nothing like the one I’d imagined. Those experiences deepened my understanding of what it means to lose your footing, question your identity, and slowly find your way forward again.
When I say I understand what it’s like to move through major life transitions, or to redefine yourself in your 30s, 40s, or 50s, I mean it. That lived experience doesn’t show up as stories about me. It shows up as a calm, grounded presence. I won’t rush you through uncertainty, because growth rarely happens on a predictable timeline.
The Relationship Between Therapist and Client Matters
Not every therapist is the right fit for every person, and that’s okay. I work best with people who are curious about themselves and ready to look beneath the surface, not because they’re broken, but because they want to understand the patterns that have shaped their lives and start creating new ones.
My clinical foundation is psychodynamic, and it draws on attachment theory, mindfulness, and family systems. Much of my work centers on relational patterns, parentification and childhood emotional neglect, life transitions, grief, and identity reconstruction.
Here’s What I Keep Coming Back To
There’s a reason you respond the way you do. The habits and coping strategies that feel frustrating today once made perfect sense. They helped you survive, adapt, and keep going. Together, we’ll make sense of those patterns with compassion and curiosity, while creating space for new ways of living that feel more authentic and less exhausting.
Outside the therapy room, you’ll find me enjoying the outdoors, painting, catching up with my kids or friends, and enjoying a good cup of coffee or tea with a book.
Start Making Sense of Your Patterns
Walking with someone who’s ready to stop simply getting through the day, and to start understanding the patterns that shaped their life, is the part of this work I find most meaningful.
If that’s where you are, I’d welcome the chance to talk.
Reach out through the contact form, and we’ll set up a free consultation to see whether we’re the right fit for each other.